


Come Back To Me

by brokencasbutt67



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Bullying, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cute, Depression, Explicit Consent, F/M, Fluff, Making Love, Making Out, Marriage Proposal, Mental Health Issues, Party, Self-Harm, Selfies, Smut, Social Media
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:35:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24150661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokencasbutt67/pseuds/brokencasbutt67
Summary: So uh, this is a new writing style for me again. Kinda let myself vent when I was having a bad time of it, figured I'd write some smut and indulge myself for a while. This took three days to write and I'll probably hate it within three hours. Anyway, heed the tags. If you enjoyed it, please let me know in them comments.Follow me on Tumblr for more updates @brokencasbutt67-writer
Relationships: Richard Speight Jr./Reader, Richard Speight Jr./You
Comments: 8
Kudos: 23





	Come Back To Me

Dating Richard was unlike any other relationship you had ever experienced. You knew of his fame as an actor, but it couldn’t prepare you for the amount of harassment you received, both in public and online. Usually you’re pretty good at ignoring it. It’s just usually jealous fans or people who have too much time on their hands. But today, it’s not that simple. Richard has been away for a few days filming, and you’re stuck at home, struggling with loneliness. You’ve done all of the house chores that needed doing, you’ve been out shopping and now you’re bored.

Of course, when you’re bored, it’s difficult not to lose yourself in your own head. That’s how you’ve ended up here - scrolling through the comments on the newest Instagram post of yours. It’s a picture of you and Richard in bed, the morning he was leaving for filming. Some comments aren’t that bad, telling of their love for you and Richard. But it doesn’t take long to find the first hateful comment. They’re always there. Hiding, waiting for you to read them. Each hateful comment is about the same thing too. _You_ . It’s always you. The comments tell their love for Richard, and that he deserves better than a _fat ass_ like you.

The first time Richard had found you like this, he’d turned your phone off, tossed it aside and made love to you, reminding you of just how much he loves you. Today though, he’s not here today. He can’t help you, the voice in your head _oh so helpfully_ reminds you.

The comments on the post are worse than usual, probably because it’s obvious that you’re topless beneath the duvet cover, and Richard is very clearly topless, laid atop the bedsheets. It’s rare for you and Richard to post selfies together online - you usually just post some of yourself. That’s why it hurts so much when the same comments are left on the pictures of you and Richard that are left on the pictures of just yourself.

A notification pops down at the top of your screen, and as if by habit, you click it. It’s Richard, he’s shared the photo on Twitter, with a heart emoji. There’s a ring emoji too, though you’re not sure why it’s there. _Could he be planning to propose?_ The voice in the back of your head is quick to respond. _Of course not, who’d want to marry you?_

To stop yourself from falling down into a dark pit, you toss your phone aside and decide to go get a shower. Hopefully, it will help for a short time. _It won’t._ It doesn’t help. Not in the slightest. In fact, it has the opposite effect. You’re curled up in a ball at the bottom of the shower, with mascara staining your cheeks, tears washed away by the water.

You don’t hear the door open, too lost in your own thoughts of hurting yourself to hear anything except the voice in the back of your head. The blade beside you… there’s blood dripping down into the shower drain.

You don’t remember doing this. You don’t recall the blade meeting your skin. But it did, and the voice in the back of your head has gone, it’s finally disappeared. Instead, Richard is standing before you. His white shirt is becoming see through as he gently reaches for you through the darkness, not caring about anything else in the moment. Your skin is cold to the touch, despite the hot water beating around you. Richard looks down to you, his eyes are filled with a hurting hope as he eases you out of the shower and wraps a towel around you.

You’re sitting on the bed when you come back to yourself. Richard is kneeling in front of you, stroking his thumb over your cheek. Your eyes meet his through everything that is filling your mind, and it feels like for a moment, everything is normal. It isn’t though, and that thought goes when he lifts the towel to look at the wounds.

A bandage on the wounds, pyjamas on your body and for now at least, you can imagine that you’re not fucked up for a few minutes. You’re laid together on the sofa, a movie is on but that’s not important. Richard is stroking his fingers through your hair, lulling you into a sense of security, safety. It didn’t take long for you to be feeling relatively okay, especially by comparison to how you’d been feeling earlier in the day.

“What time did you get back?” You asked, voice weak and quiet as you looked up to Richard.  
“Just before noon” Richard responded, looking down to you. Light conversation fills the tense silence.

After a few moments, he spoke again.  
“I know you’re not going to want to talk about it today, but we will have to talk about what happened earlier” He said softly, his thumb brushing over your cheek. You nod, relishing in the touch. 

You know what’s going to come of that talk, Richard will say your depression is too much for him to handle, that you’re better off on your own. You’ve heard it so many times before that you can’t help but always be prepared for it. It’ll hurt more with Richard though. You’ve been through so much together though.

“Hey, come back to me darlin’” Richard’s southern drawl pierced your thoughts, bringing you back to the surface from where you were drowning. You curled closer to him.  
“I uh… I may have planned something, the gang’s all coming at 7. I can cancel if you want” He said softly. You shook your head.   
“N-no, I’ll be okay…” You trail off.   
“Are you sure? I can cancel if you want” Richard repeats. You shake your head.   
“I’ll be okay after a nap” You promise. On that, Richard shifts to turn the movie off and pulls a blanket around you, shifting to hold you impossibly close.   
“I’m not going anywhere, babe” He promises, kissing your forehead. You smile slightly, relaxing in his chest as you fall asleep.

7pm rolled around and the gang were slowly arriving. Richard and you were still laid on the sofa, though at some point you had gotten dressed. The television was on low, though you weren’t paying attention to that, you were talking about earlier in the day. You’d admitted to him what you had been looking at. He immediately got annoyed, not at you but at the people who called themselves his ‘fans’. He was tempted to send a tweet out to them, but he didn’t, instead he held you even closer and kissed you gently.

The party was just quiet enough for you that it didn’t overwhelm you. There was only a handful of the gang here: Briana, Kim, Rob, Matt, and a few others from when Richard was on Supernatural. There was music playing… somewhere, Richard was off talking with Rob and Matt, or Briana and Kim, you’re not sure. And here you are, hiding away in the bedroom. It’s not the anxiety that’s overwhelming you. It’s rarely the anxiety that overwhelms you like this. As it always is, it’s your insecurities that are overwhelming you. There are so many other women who could have Rich - hell even Briana or Kim would be better with him than _you._

You hear his laugh, calling to you over the sounds of the laughter, the voices in your head. He’s asking where you are, searching for you even though everyone else is here for him. You don’t move from where you’re laying, at his side of the bed. You’re engulfed in his scent; it calms the anxiety in you minutely.

That’s all it ever will do though. Nothing will ever calm your anxiety permanently. You’ve tried everything - drugs, therapy, medication. None of it has worked, and you’re stuck in a rut of being overwhelmed, being okay for a few minutes and then falling back down the rabbit hole.

You hear the bedroom door close, a sad sigh. _This is it; he’s ending three years of a relationship because of the mental health difficulties. You can’t blame him; you’d dump yourself like a hot potato if you could. It has been tempting._

Richard is kneeling in front of you. You know that much. His hand is resting on your cheek, lightly stroking. He has a sad smile on his face.

“I love you” He murmurs, nothing else to say.  
“I love you” He repeats, and it pains you to hear it. You know he’s going to leave you. _Why wouldn’t he?_ _  
_ “I love you, so fucking much” Richard is speaking, it drags you out of your mind.

“I wanted to ask this in front of everyone, I wanted to show everyone just how much I love you, but I can’t bring myself to tell everyone out there when the only people who need to know are me and you” He says softly. You squeeze your eyes closed, trying to stem the tears from forming. Richard rests his phone on the night stand, _filming_ _like it’s some sick joke that will make the rounds on the internet forever._

“(Your full name)” He starts, shifting to sit you up. He cups your cheek gently. You lean into the touch, further indulging yourself even though you know it’s going to hurt even more when he walks away.

“We’ve been through so much together. Highs and lows, you’ve stuck by me when no one else would. I know you’re hurting; I wish there was more I could do to help you…” He trails off. You look away as a tear streams down your cheek. Richard takes your hand into his own, you hear a drawer open.

“Look at me, (Y/N)” He says softly. You reluctantly look over; Richard is on one knee in front of you. He has a box in his hands, a look of hope on his face. You know what he’s asking, he doesn’t need to say anything for you to know what he’s asking.

“R-Rich I-I thought-t you…” You stuttered and stumbled over your words, unable to form a sentence.  
“I know what you thought, (Y/N). I’ve known what you thought for a while. I’m going nowhere” Richard says, lightly squeezing your hand.   
“More the opposite, darlin’, I’m sticking around for as long as you want me” Richard promises. You let out a weak smile, falling into his arms to hug him tightly. 

The ring falls aside, though not discarded. At the moment, it’s irrelevant.

It could be hours that you and Richard are cuddling on your bedroom floor, it could be minutes. It doesn’t matter. You’re together, that’s all that’s important - now and forever.

“So… heh, what’dya say?” Richard asks, while rubbing at the back of his neck.  
“You know what I’m going to say, babe” You smile slightly. A wide smile covers Richard’s face as he slides the ring on your finger, _a perfect fit._ You curl close to Richard; he strokes his fingers through your hair, you can’t help but kiss his cheek.

“Thank you” You whispered. Richard frowned.  
“Wha-why are you thanking me?” He asked, cupping your cheeks gently.   
“I uh…” You sighed, looking down.   
“I thought you were going to leave me” You murmur, a tear falling down your cheek.   
“Baby… I’m going nowhere” Richard promises. He reaches for his phone and ends the video before tossing his phone aside. He lifts you, laying you on the bed while kneeling over you to kiss you gently. You melt into his touch, the tears on your cheeks being dried.

Richard’s shirt is tossed aside, yours quickly following it to land on the floor. Richard strokes his hands down your sides, pressing kisses to everywhere his hands reach. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you’re aware that the party is still ongoing, that someone - anyone could walk in. But you don’t care. 

Richard lifts you as he kisses you, reaching back to unclasp your bra. After a few moments, he shifts to look at it, clearly struggling. You can’t stifle the laugh, Richard smiles at your laughter, it fills him with a warmth akin to a summer’s day. He shifts, tossing the bra aside while shifting to lift you into his lap. He smiles up to you, love filling his eyes.   
“I love you” He murmurs. You lean down and kiss him gently, trying to hide the smile covering your face. Richard grabs your hips, holding you close as you make out. 

The door opens, but neither you nor Richard part, you don’t need to. You hear whoever it was going downstairs again.   
“Do you want to do this?” Richard asks, his voice is barely a whisper. But you hear it, every word that is spoken, and unspoken.   
“Yeah... later though…” You trail off, briefly looking over to the door. Richard nods and smiles. He reaches over and grabs your bra.   
“I love you, so much” You whisper. You take the bra from his hands, resting it aside while cupping his cheeks to kiss him gently. Richard smiles, reaching up to hold your hand in his own. His thumb brushes over the ring. You smile. You don’t want to move from Richard’s embrace, you’re too comfortable here. 

Richard is the first to move, lifting your bra and helping you to put it on. He reaches over, gently kissing the wounds on your arm. It’s cliche, it’s an overdone trope in most works of writing. But here, in this moment, it holds so much more meaning.

You eventually make your way downstairs, unsure and uncaring of how long has passed. The party is still ongoing, the drinks are flowing and the music is loud. Richard is by your side as you walk in, quickly becoming the focus of everyone’s attention. There’s an awkward silence for a few moments before anyone speaks.

“So, what’s the answer?” Kim asks. You frown slightly, looking to Richard. He lifts your hand, showing the ring. There are cheers from everyone and a wine glass is being pushed into your hand. You don’t want to drink though, you don’t want to tarnish the memory of this amazing day by drinking. 

Richard is dragged away by Matt and Rob, and Briana and Kim pull you to the other side of the room, wanting nothing more to gossip. You indulge them for a while, though it’s not what you want to talk about. Kim and Briana pick up on this. You lead them upstairs, away from the party. 

“How do you deal with the hate?” You ask, looking to the two women beside you. Your phone was in your hand, showing just a handful of the comments you receive. Kim and Briana rubbed your shoulders, sitting beside you.   
“Does Richard know about the comments?” Kim asks. You nod.   
“Yeah, he’s usually here to help me… deal with stuff when I get them, but I can’t keep relying on him to help me with them” You speak, avoiding mentions of what you did earlier.   
“He’s always here for me… even when I don’t deserve it, he could have so many other people in the world and he chooses me” You sigh.   
“(Y/N), honey… Richard loves you more than words can make sense of. You, of all people, deserve happiness after everything that’s happened. And Richard wants to give you that, and more. He’s been talking about you non-stop over this past week about how he wants to marry you, to have a future with you and so much more” Briana says softly.   
“When you say that you don’t ‘deserve it’, (Y/N), you have to remember that your past is your past. You didn’t murder anyone, you’ve had a pretty good history by comparison. Depression is a bitch, but don’t let it ruin the good things you have” Kim said softly. 

Your phone buzzed in your hand, taking your attention away from whatever it was that you were thinking about. Looking down, you see Richard has tweeted nothing more than “She said yes” with a heart emoji and a ring emoji. You smiled slightly, tossing your phone aside.   
“Let’s head back downstairs” You murmur. Kim and Briana nod, taking your hands as you go downstairs. Richard smiles widely when he sees you, _he always does._ His smile almost lights up the room. You wander over to him, wrapping your arm around his waist.   
“I know I won’t get better overnight…” You trail off, looking down for a moment before you look up to him again.   
“But for now at least, I’m making progress” You say, resting your head on his arm. Richard smiles, kissing the top of your head.   
“And I’ll always be by your side, for the highs and lows” Richard promises, taking his attention away from Rob and Matt in front of him. 

The party draws to a close just before Midnight. Everyone leaves, expressing their love and happiness that you and Richard are engaged. Looking around the kitchen, you want nothing more than to tidy everything up; to toss out all of the empty bottles and food containers; to wash the dishes. Instead, you turn to Richard and hug him tightly.   
  
You’re kissing him. You don’t know when it happened, but here you are, making out like a pair of horny teenagers. It gets deeper quickly, and you’re struggling to control your urges. So you don’t. You unbutton his shirt, reaching up to feel the skin beneath. Even if nothing comes of this, the feel of his heart beating beneath your hand calms you, grounds you even. 

“Bedroom?” Richard asks, his eyes meeting your own. You shift under his gaze for a few moments, before nodding.   
“If you want to” You murmur.   
“Do _you_ want to?” Richard asks, stroking his thumb over your cheek. You nod, reaching up to cup his hand.   
“Yeah, I do” You smile. Richard nods, lifting you up and wrapping your legs around his waist. He carries you upstairs, laying you on the bed. 

Richard tosses his shirt aside, the white fabric hits the floor silently. You tug your t-shirt off, it joins Richard’s shirt wherever it lays. Next to be removed is your bra - it lands on the door handle.   
“R-rich can we…” You trail off, shifting slightly to cover yourself. Richard looks up to you.   
“L-light” You stutter. Richard understands though, _he always does._ He eases off the bed, flicking the lightswitch to off. You smile slightly; only the moonlight now. Richard shifts to unzip his trousers, though he doesn’t take them off as you resume making out on the bed. 

Your jeans are next to hit the floor, a combined effort of yourself and Richard to rid them from your body. Strong hands are dragged down your thighs, occasionally Richard presses his lips against your thighs. You stroke your fingers through his hair, leaning down to kiss him while your hands attempt to ease his black slacks off of his body. They eventually meet the same fate as the rest of your clothing. 

“I love you” Richard murmurs. _Even in the throes of passion, he’s thinking only of his love for you._   
“I love you too, Rich, so much” You murmur. A small smile graces his face as he looks up to you. He leans up and kisses you gently, his hand falling to the waistband of your underwear.   
“Are you sure about this?” He asks, always so caring and attentive. You nod and smile.   
“Yeah, I’m so sure” You breath. Richard smiles, brushing his thumb over faded scars on your thigh. _You remember where they came from. It was only a few weeks into the relationship, you’d started getting some hateful comments and they were sticking in the back of your head. Richard had cared for you when he found them, there was nothing sexual about the time as he laid with you, both entirely naked. You spoke for hours about your insecurities, he spoke about his insecurities, and at the end of the night, you felt as though the weight of the planet was lifted from your shoulders._

“Come back to me, darlin’” Richard’s voice pulls you back into reality. You smile up to him.   
“Thank you” You whisper. Richard frowns slightly.   
“I don’t…” He trails off.   
“For sticking by me, you’ve been here from the start. Everyone else would’ve left. You’ve helped me more than words can say” You murmur.   
“I love you,” Richard says. Nothing else can convey what he wants to say. You smile slightly, shifting to sit into his lap while kissing him.   
“Do you have a condom?” You ask, after a few moments.   
“Yeah, I do” Richard says, reaching back blindly; attempting to open the drawer beside the bed.   
“You don’t have to use one if you don’t want to, I know guys say it doesn’t feel great” You murmur. Richard shakes his head.   
“Anything I do with you is out of this world, regardless of whether it’s like _this_ or if we’re just chilling. Condom or no condom. It’s you that makes the experience so amazing” Richard says, tossing the box of condoms onto the bed. You flush slightly, a shade of pink covering your cheeks. 

You shift slightly, easing your underwear away. Richard smiles, kissing you gently while reaching back to remove his boxer shorts. They land somewhere, you’re not entirely sure where and you don’t care to know either. Richard reaches for a condom and rolls it on, his eyes meeting yours. _Are you sure?_

You lift yourself up, resting your knees at the side of Richard’s thighs as you ease down, biting your lip as he fills you. Richard lets out a stifled moan, his heart feels like it’s swelling as he looks up to you. Once you’re seated in his lap, Richard kisses you deeply. He’s holding onto your hips, your hands are resting on his chest. 

Neither of you move too much, there isn’t much needed. The overwhelming feeling of love in the room is filling you and Richard with love, like a pan of boiling water overflowing. Reaching up, you stroke your fingers through Richard’s hair while kissing him deeply. Your hips begin to jerk slightly, seeking the peak of your pleasure. Richard smirks slightly, nipping along your chest and neck, only pushing you closer to the precipice. 

It’s an overused cliche that your orgasm “hit you like a freight train”, but the orgasm genuinely knocked you. You hadn’t expected it. A loud moan leaves your throat, your head falls back. Richard smiles slightly, rolling his hips just enough that he comes, resting his head on your shoulder. 

Time passes, it could be minutes or it could be hours. It doesn’t matter. You’re not moving from Richard’s lap, sharing his embrace. Richard is the first to move. He eases out of you and tosses the condom aside after knotting it. He reaches up, brushing his fingers through your hair.   
“I’m going nowhere” He promises. You nod and smile, kissing him gently. After a few minutes, Richard lays you on your back and continues to kiss you.   
“I’m gonna get a cloth and clean us up” He murmurs, though he doesn’t stop kissing you. He doesn’t want to. Eventually, you nudge him away to get a cloth. You don’t take your eyes off of Richard’s ass as he goes towards the bathroom. 

The moon stands high when Richard and you eventually climb _into_ bed. There are chores that need to be done; clothes that were tossed aside in passion need to be washed and so much more. But in this moment, as you fall asleep on his chest. Richard can’t help himself, sneaking a picture of this moment to save it forever. It will be forever ingrained in his memory, but having a picture will make it eternal. 

And if he puts out a tweet telling people to stop being assholes, well you’re not complaining. 


End file.
